Stop, Look & Listen: Quick Ways to Get Over Your Ex
“Moving on is easier than you think, just stop following someone worthless and turn around to see who is worthwhile” – Unknown
Have you been sleeping less after things ended with your ex? Have you been seeing their faces out of nowhere everywhere you go? Do you remember him/her every time you do something? Do you read your old text messages? Do you think of them before you go to bed? Do you still have hopes that you two will get back together? Do you still love him/her?
Did you answer YES to every question above?
Or did you just say NO even if you know it is a lie? Because if this is true.
You wouldn’t be here reading this in the first place…
Some people would say that moving on is never easy especially if the person you are in a relationship with has been a part of your life for a very long time. But the thing is, moving on is different from forgetting. Moving on is just moving forward with your life and accepting the fact that it is over between you two. It doesn’t mean you have to forget about them, it doesn’t mean you have to completely remove them from your life. It doesn’t mean that you have to forget all those memories you have with them.
You can’t “un-love” them. You can’t just simply press “delete feelings” (although admit it, you sometimes you wish you can).Yes, it does hurt and it cannot be helped but it is just a matter of perspective. It is the choices we make that define how things will go in our life. It is the path we take that would lead us to a better future. No one can force you to stop hurting but you can help yourself try, one step at a time, to move on and begin again.
It may be difficult at first but remember, it is your choice. If you really want to have a fresh start with your life, you have to do this. It doesn’t have to be right away. You can start doing this one by one. This is a process, not a race. There is no time limit and there is no one to beat. You can start by:
-Stop trying to be strong on the outside. It is natural to feel the pain. It is okay to cry and let it all out. It will be more difficult for you to move on and heal if you try and suppress your thoughts and bottle it all up.
-Stop pushing away the people who want to be there for you. Yes, you want to be alone for a little while but not for a long time. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and give you some advice. You don’t have to push them away, because you may not know you’re actually hurting somebody because you are too focused on yourself by being so broken.
-Stop stalking him/her on their social media pages. If your ‘ex’ has already moved on and is with someone else, stalking them on social media wouldn’t affect them but it will affect you. It might make you hate him/her for moving for replacing you too quickly and you will just force yourself to move on as well and you might do it by dating someone new. You haven’t moved on, you’re just distracted and it is not fair to use someone like that. You will end up hurting him/her in the process.
-Stop lying to yourself. If both of you caused the breakup, don’t just blame your partner. You have to think of how it went wrong. It is a relationship after all.
-Stop being in denial. IT IS OVER
So, say you have been trying to do the things above and you know feel a little ready to do something for yourself that would help you get started with a new life. Try to do the following:
-Look at yourself now. (Not literally of course.) Look at your state at the exact moment. You are trying to heal from a broken heart and that is exactly where you belong. You have to start there. There are no shortcuts when it comes to life.
-Look at the beginning of the end. Moving forward is all about new beginnings and you can do this by letting go of the past. Remember that letting go is different with forgetting the past, it just means that you are slowly healing that you can now finally start a new beginning without feeling sad anymore.
-Look at the world. You are not the only person in this world who are in pain. Some people have it worse. So now you can try to look at things in a different way, the positive way. Choosing to see the good things that this world can bring can actually heal you. Being grateful can change a lot of things in a lot of ways. While you’re trying to heal, why not do something that would not just benefit yourself but others as well.
-Look at the future. By learning to let go means you can now look into your life ahead. Life doesn’t just stop because you got hurt. It continues and all you have to do is just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. You’ll realize how happy your life can be (maybe even happier) and it opens up new doors to new opportunities.
Once you feel that you are not broken anymore, it doesn’t mean you can just jump into a new relationship. Healing takes time so be patient with yourself. Listen to the possibilities.
-Listen to uplifting music. It may seem like such a normal and simple thing to do but the power of music can actually help you feel positive about things. (Just make sure you’re NOT listening to Adele or any heart-break songs)
-Listen to your body language. Start doing the things that you love. If you do it with your ex then start doing it by yourself. It might make you sad but remember you are doing this to let go of him/her. If you need someone then ask a family or friend to join you.
-Listen to your heart AND mind. Even if most of the time your heart and mind doesn’t agree with one another. You can try by listening to what your mind has to say first and from there go to your heart. It sounds complicated but one way or another you’ll manage to work it out.
-Listen to the lessons you have learned. Remember the saying, “you can never change the past, instead you may actually learn from it.” From the pain and heart break that you have been through, it only shows how strong you can be if you managed to reach here. What happened to you in the past can help you make better decisions in the present and future. Instead of a sad memory, you can turn it into just a simple memory where you can use it as an inspiration into doing better things in life.
REMEMBER: Moving on is a process. If you rush it, you will just end up getting hurt even more at the end. Learn to forgive without having to forget, that way when a new love knocks on your door, you can open it without having to be scared of getting hurt again. It is natural to be cautious but don’t let it get to you.
Being happy again after a break up is a choice only YOU can make.
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