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Online Dating: Lessons Learned from Personal Experience

Our lives are now very much tied to the Internet that a lot of our everyday habits involve the cybersphere. We take selfies and post it on our social media account; when we need to know about what’s up with our family and friends, you log into your account through your smartphone or laptop. Heck, many now even turn to the web when they’re open to having a date over the weekend or finding a life partner.

Ooh yes, online dating is on the rise and will continue to in the Digital Era. In fact, I’ve tried doing that one myself, and did manage to find love. From one who has been there and done that, here are are 5 lessons learned from more than 2 years of wading in the tempestuous waters of online dating.

Profiles Can Be Deceiving

This is basically a no-brainer. For example, there’s a tendency to use photos that are very flattering to the owner of the profile. Some may even go as far as using photos dating from 10 years ago, which is why you’ll be surprised at how the person you’re meeting in person for the first time actually looks older than his or her profile picture. Some also fudge their age, weight, height, and income. Others may even try to present a personality that doesn’t exactly match the actual one they’re walking around with.

With all that, you should take all profiles you see on dating sites with a lot of salt. You should go over your prospects’ profiles at least twice. You may notice inconsistencies with their data and even figure out what’s odd about their photos. Beware of the ones who use photos of themselves in sunglasses or posing with a car in prominent display. Or showing rather too much flesh.

Paid Options Can Yield Better Quality Options

There are a lot of trolls and duds on sites that require no registration fees. Sites that only require the men to pay up are tolerable enough. You’ll find, though, that sites that use a matching system or profiles the user through a survey that you fill out on signing up can help you get paired with people who likely fit your personal preferences.

Better yet, you can sign up at sites catering to specific crowds. If, for example, you are particular about finding people of a similar denomination as yourself, you can go for sites that cater to those.

Clarify Intentions and Boundaries

It’s possible to be corresponding with someone for weeks on end and then later find out that you don’t actually share the same intentions when it comes to the online connection. Some are just looking for someone to make them forget their loneliness, and if you think they’re in it for something far more than that, you’re headed for a dead end. Make it clear why you’re on a dating site after the customary hi-hello-how-are-you phase. If you’re on the road to meeting someone in person, you should lay out your boundaries so you and the other person will be on the same page and avoid awkward real-life situations.

Beware of Those Who Avoid Personal Meetups

Some prefer to stay virtual, content to be your friend on the other side of your computer. When you mention meeting up for a cup of coffee, the conversation suddenly turns to other topics or, worse, ends abruptly. If you’re looking for something more than just a virtual connection, you should steer clear of those who dodge their way out of personal meetings.

Being Real Is Ultimately the Best Way to Go

You may be tempted to present a 2.0 version of yourself, but you’ll find that, ultimately, the truth will be revealed and then the other party ends up getting disappointed, possibly resulting in rejection or a rather unsavory end to a connection.

While it’s okay to present a better version of yourself, make sure it’s not too far from the truth that the other person may end up getting disappointed and even accusing you of deception. Keep things real so you really attract the people who are genuinely interested in you. It’s a lot less stressful that way, too, knowing that you don’t have to pretend or keep up appearances.

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